How to be the best maid of honor! Here are the 5 things to do once you say yes to being maid or matron of honor.
It's crazy to think that it's been almost 2 years since my high school sweetheart got down on one knee and popped the question!
For our wedding, we decided on two maids of honor and it worked out perfectly since I was able to delegate different tasks and party planning to the each of them. Well, now it's my turn!
I am matron of honor in an upcoming wedding, alongside a second maid of honor and two bridesmaids. Since I'm on the other side of a bridal party for the first time, I want to make sure I document all my new experiences. First things first, what to do when you say yes to being maid of honor!
It's super exciting to be asked to join a bridal party, as MOH or bridesmaid. It's truly an honor! You were chosen to stand up with the bride and groom as they commit their lives to one another.
Aside from the big day, you also get to be part of the planning process, engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, shopping, rehearsal dinner, getting ready during the morning of, and so much more!
So, you've been asked and agreed! Exciting times ahead, but where to start? Let me tell ya!
Start a group message
Traditional text message or Facebook messenger works just fine. Keeping everybody on the same page is so important and group messages are the easiest way to send and receive updates. You'll be doing lots of coordinating and back and forth with details. Having a designated space for that will help.
Create private Pinterest boards
You can choose to create just one private board where you all share everything wedding related, or you can designate multiple boards for different aspects of the planning process. Which one do you think we went with? These Type-A MOH's created separate boards for bridal shower planning, bachelorette party planning, but also two mood boards that include the bride. A little over the top? Maybe, but it keeps us organized. You'd be surprised how easy pins add up and push the important ones to the bottom.
Be upfront about money
I know, it's awkward. But what's more awkward is having to bring it up once booking begins. It not only causes unnecessary stress, but it takes away from the excitement of wedding planning. Money is an uncomfortable topic but if you get it out of the way, in the beginning, everybody will be able to focus on what's truly important. Make sure to think through as much as possible, so you're not blindsided. Think engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, bridesmaid dress plus alteration, shoes, accessories, travel... I know it's not fun to think about, but it helps in the long-run.
Find out what the bride needs
Does your bride have a clear vision of what she wants and just needs a soundboard? Or does she want to talk through every detail with you and get your honest input? Make sure you know, so you don't cross your boundaries or stress her out. Find out what you're in charge of. Are you planning the bridal shower or bachelorette party? Are you the one and only point person? Most of all support her and her fiance's decisions and try to make her life easier.
Start marking your calendar
Depending on when the wedding is, you're looking at months of celebration! That should be exciting!! If the wedding is on a Friday, make sure you take the day off and maybe take a half day off the day before to prep for the rehearsal and dinner. If you have to travel for special occasions, book ahead of time to save some money.
Remember that you were chosen to help and support your friend during this exciting season of her life. She values your friendship, so above all else remain a friend. Be there for her throughout the wedding planning process and look forward to the many celebrations of love!
What advice do you have for bridal party members? Share your advice in the comments section!
If you liked this post, check out some of my other wedding-related posts:
- Bridal Shower Invitations
- Fredericksburg & San Antonio Bachelorette Party
- Wedding Vendor Research Download
- How To Invite Mickey & Minnie Mouse To Your Wedding
- Wedding Guest Guide for Twenty-Somethings
- Vendor Booking Timeline + Tips {Infographic}
Photos by Celina Gomez Photography.
Julia says
Nice that you are so thoughtful and take your duty seriously. Respecting what each person can give to the bride both emotionally and financially is key. Having been part of weddings back in the day, I appreciated the times I was let off the hook for not having to do things I totally hated. It should be fun but not everyone likes to be part of the festivities in the same ways or can be.
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Thanks 🙂 Yes, I totally agree with you! It should be fun, at the end of the day.
Julia says
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stepbackandbreathe33 says
Awesome list! I was matron of honor for my best friend's wedding last year. Like you, I immediately did everything on your list just to make sure we were all up to date and understanding of what was going on. And secret Pinterest boards are the best for keeping surprises from the bride!
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Thanks so much! Totally 🙂 Any advice for this first time MOH?
stepbackandbreathe33 says
All of your list for sure. I also bought a book on how to be a bridesmaid to brush up on etiquette. But really, just know your friend's wishes. Help them fight for what they want if they start to feel pressure from others ( within reason, of course.) Always be on the bride and groom's side.
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Awesome, I love learning about proper etiquette! Thanks 🙂
platformsandpacifiers says
Love this! I think sometimes being the maid of honor gets a bad wrap but you've really simplified it!
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that!
katiedeckert says
This is a great list! I've been in weddings before but just got asked again and never thought about making a Pinterest group board! Thanks for the ideas!
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Thank you!! Group boards are my favorite 🙂 It's easy to go overboard though haha. You're welcome!
Kristen Osborne says
I love the Pinterest boards idea! That makes it so much easier to stay organized and add a fun aspect to planning.
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Yes, totally 🙂
Kay says
This is such an adorable post, I love the pictures!!
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Thanks so much 🙂
thesaltymamas says
Excellent advice! I agree 100% about the money issue. Getting that conversation out of the way early can save a lot of heartache later!
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Thank you!! Agh yesss
Melissa Javan says
I love this list.
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Great 🙂 I'm glad!
Theresa | Bridesmaids Confession says
Great advice! Communication is a big key to making sure things run smoothly.
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Thank you!! Totally 🙂
lifeofaministermom says
So fun. I'm Matron of Honor in my friend's wedding next month!!
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Awesome!! Do you have any advice for a first-time MOH? The wedding I'm in isn't until April but the bridal shower is in November/bachelorette party in March.
Lauren Becker says
It's definitely a good idea to keep in contact and be upfront about money. Not everyone will have the same available funds!!
-Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Absolutely!!
shelbibritton says
My biggest pet peeve is when the MOH or any of the bridesmaids make it about them.. no. Your job is to be a great supportive friend and calming presence to the bride! No matter what kind of dress she is making you wear hahaha
Jenna | The Urben Life says
Being a calming presence to the bride is so important!